The Show Down Begins...Again.

It's been 2 years since I created this space. I have been on quite a journey since then. In a nutshell, this journey has involved lots of gluten, some dairy, sugar, and one run-down mama. The decline has been gradual. A sandwich here. A piece of cake there. Fluffy, warm, delicious bread everywhere. I really never had a chance, I can handle a break from this stuff. But, no more bread? Really? FOREVER? I'd kinda rather die a slow death listening to nails scratch against a chalkboard. But then I realized eating poorly is kinda the same thing. Sure, fresh, buttered bread is the-most-amazing-thing-I've-ever-tasted-in-my-life in the moment I am eating it, but the way I feel afterword? Not so great, to put it lightly.

I've learned so much since starting this blog. Things like where to get the best gluten-free bread (Marie Catrib's for anybody who's wondering), and that I really can live without dairy. I have been milk-free for years, albeit not cheese free (mostly cheese free though). I have also learned to eat my veggies and how to juice. Above all I have learned that I have an addiction.

Hello, my name is Shawna and I am addicted to bread. Real bread with gluten. I will do anything to get it, including jeopardizing my health. I will lie, cheat, and steal bites from my family's sandwiches to get it. It is bad. Real bad.

But, today I went on an angry walk with myself after a disheartening morning that started with spilling coffee on the WHITE part of my favorite scarf and ended with my son falling in a muddy, oily puddle in a parking lot. And, don't even get me started on how I feel about waking up to MORE snow on the second day of Spring. You get it. I was just a little bit grumpy. So I needed to exercise. Even though I really, really just wanted to go back to bed. 

I sauntered around the track at the gym. Sulking. Head down. Not making eye contact, for fear I might growl at the passers-by. Which would be weird and quite possibly something you don't come back from. I really did not want to be known as the woman who growls at people at the gym. While contemplating these things, the song Seven Nation Army by the White Stripes started blaring in my headphones. And I started walking faster. And harder. I walked as fast as I could without running. Pounding my feet on the track in a cathartic rhythm. And then, BAM! Epiphany. I'm done with bread. I am done complaining and feeling bad about something that is completely in my control. Who chooses what I eat?!?! I DO DAMMIT! (Right?)

And just like that, I visualized the gluten filled loveliness that 'hurts me so good' across from me in an old-fashioned western show down. Both of us had our hands ready to go for our guns. It was tense, I'm not gonna lie. But, I was pissed, and even more - I was DONE feeling crappy. So I furled my brow and waited for the bread to make it's move. Just then Fergilicious (which I happen to sing as Shawna-licious) came on, and I knew my enemy had no chance. I pulled my gun and shot that bread right between the crusts. BAM!

So, that's the long way of saying I am starting again. Gluten free, bread free for real this time. I am hoping you will help me stay on the wagon. Cause, man, addiction ain't no joke. I'm gonna need all the help I can get. You may be called upon to talk me down when bread is starts taunting me again. Fluffy delisciousness needs to know there's a new sheriff in town, and I have deputies to help me run the Gluten Gang out of my life. Forever. More tomorrow on how day 1 went. It's time to go make my day.